


Suffer Well

by amethyst-noir (Arbonne)



Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo Collection [21]
Category: Doctor Strange (2016), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Bittersweet Ending, Cloak of Levitation (Marvel), Depression, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Heavy Angst, I'm Sorry, IronStrange Bingo 2020, Minor Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, Other, Stephen Strange & Wong Friendship, as in past tense because, but more bitter than sweet, side effects of long-time magic use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:41:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24097486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arbonne/pseuds/amethyst-noir
Summary: Eating had become a chore even before he'd died on Titan but ever since his resurrection he barely managed to keep anything down.(After Titan and after Thanos Stephen is only a shadow of his former self and the loss of Tony is only one of his problems.)
Relationships: Stephen Strange & Wong, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange
Series: Bad Things Happen Bingo Collection [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1325981
Comments: 22
Kudos: 63
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo, IronStrange Bingo 2020





	Suffer Well

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a couple of months ago in response to two asks by @uselessmedudez. Since I don't feel qualified to write for the actual prompts I took them inspiration - they are included in the end notes but please be aware that they contain a trigger warning for eating disorders. The story itself features a Stephen whose body has lost the ability to process food like it should thanks to his magic use. The title, as so often before, has been taken from a Depeche Mode song.
> 
> Sorry, Stephen. I'll make it better. Promise. You'll get Tony and a unambigious happy end in the next one.
> 
> @badthingshappenbingo prompt: _Doesn't Realize They've Been Injured_  
>  @ironstrangebingo prompt: _Wong_

A gentle tap on his shoulder brought Stephen out of his light trance. He blinked in the dim light of the library, surprised at how late it had become.

Another tap and he turned around to look at the Cloak. The motion made him dizzy and the Cloak stabilized him a second before he could reach out to catch himself with his right hand. He petted the soft fabric in gratitude.

"Thank you." He winced at the hoarse sound of his voice and the Cloak shivered. Stephen knew what it would be saying if it could talk and shook his head out of reflex. "No."

The Cloak somehow managed to look just as disappointed as Wong but after a moment it shook itself and went away. Stephen watched it go with trepidation, knowing that he wouldn't like whatever it would bring back.

Instead of the dreaded snack he got a glass of water. He nodded his thanks and allowed the Cloak to steady his hands.

The way the fabric perked up at seeing him drink was heartbreaking and Stephen regretted it that he couldn't bring himself to do more. "Thank you," he said, hoping that his tone made it clear that it was enough.

It tipped its collar in obvious sadness but didn't even try get more into him. Stephen smiled at it. "I'm sorry," he confessed. "But I just can't."

Eating had become a chore even before he'd died on Titan but ever since his resurrection he barely managed to keep anything down. Wong had looked grim and silently handed him a stack of books that depicted the long-term effects of using magic on a scale that Stephen had done.

No wonder his stomach was rebelling against the mere idea of food. Even if his mind wouldn't do the same the changes in his body chemistry would ensure that he couldn't enjoy it anyway.

The Cloak hopefully pointed to the empty glass and Stephen didn't have it in him to disappoint it again. Water mostly stayed down anyway. "Okay."

It flew off, obviously excited and happy.

"If it's liquids you want... here." Instead of the Cloak it was Wong who came back with a bowl of soup. "Eat."

It was a command, plain and simple, but Stephen was too tired to argue. He took it and waited for the Cloak to swoop in to support his hands. They had been shaking even worse than usual those last few days and he didn't trust himself to keep the bowl steady.

Wong watched him like a hawk as he took a careful sip and only relaxed his stance and crossed arms when Stephen had ingested about half of it. He stayed silent until after the Cloak had set the bowl down.

"Better?" he asked and settled down next to Stephen on the couch.

It took him a moment to find an answer. "Yes," he finally said, surprised. He really felt a little bit better. The Cloak hugged him in delight and Wong's answering little smile made him feel even better.

"Good. It's a special recipe. The Ancient One was rather fond of it."

"Oh. Thanks, I guess."

"You looked as if you needed it."

Wong's very particular and non-nonsense way of worrying and taking care of his friends was refreshing and exactly what Stephen needed. Too many memories of the way Tony used to take care of him left him unable to accept anything but the barest minimum now.

He had spent too much time thinking about how Tony would tackle the problem and now tried to do it the opposite way - to not think of him at all, if possible. Especially not the way Tony used to coax, bribe or even outright threaten him to eat and take care of himself in general. Or do it in Stephen's stead when nothing else worked. _Don't think about it. Don't think about **him**._

"Stephen."

Nothing more than his name but it brought him back into reality. The place without Tony.

"Sorry. I was just..." _thinking about better times that never happened_ , "drifting."

"So that's what we're calling it these days, okay," Wong said, not unkindly. "You're doing it rather often, my friend." _I'm worried about you_ , Stephen heard.

"I know." Nothing more. No excuses, he was too tired for them.

Wong seemed to sense that the topic was closed and gave a curt nod. "I'll see what I can find regarding recipes."

The thought of more thought was enough to make him want to vomit but he tried to keep his face impassive and just nodded. "Don't hurry on my account."

Some non-committal sound from Wong but Stephen knew that the assault would continue. Probably tomorrow. The price he had to pay for having Wong as his friend and he would gladly pay it, all the included frustration notwithstanding.

"Stephen." Wong's voice once again took him out of his increasingly dark thoughts and Stephen gave him a thankful smile. "It's going to get better." Okay, not what he had been expecting. Cliché pep talk from _Wong_ of all people?

 _It's not_ , he wanted to give back but the exhaustion that was haunting him every second took that moment for another front assault and the words died unspoken.

He was just fucking _tired_ all the time. The nest out of pillows he'd built himself before his meditation sessions suddenly looked better than any bed ever could.

"Rest," Wong told him. "You need it to heal." Gentle hands on his shoulders, pressing him down.

"I'm not hurt," he protested weakly but, with the help of the Cloak, which had wrapped itself tightly around him, he followed the unspoken command.

He was already drifting away by the time his head landed on the pillow the Cloak had dragged under him. Tony would be waiting for him in his dreams, he knew. He only hoped he wouldn't dream of Tony's death.

"You are so deeply wounded you don't even feel it," Wong said very softly as he settled in to keep watch over Stephen. "But don't worry, we'll get you through this. There's still so much good waiting for you."

The Cloak nodded as if to show its agreement and wrapped itself even tighter against its master while Wong put a hand on his shoulder to make sure that he stayed down.

"Rest. I'll take care of your dreams for you. They'll be pleasant," Wong promised.

Stephen was too exhausted to answer verbally and closed his eyes in weary resignation. _Just don't let it be Titan or Tony's death_ , he begged silently as he felt Wong's spell settle over him.

Stephen opened his eyes to bright sunshine and Tony's smile. The anticipation of having Tony again, if only for a moment, made it easy to smile back.

"Hey," the beloved voice greated him. "It's been a while. What took you so long?"

"Thank you, Wong," he whispered as he took Tony's offered hands and let himself be led further into the dream.

**Author's Note:**

> The two prompts that served as the basis for this story. Please, remember the warning from above.
> 
> * * *
> 
> _Prompt : Stephen has Cibophobia(Fear of food) and is a aneroxia. That's why he's so thin all the time. And.. Idk whats next.. Its up to u to decide then! I hope this get sent.. I luv u and ur amazing! Hope ur fine and please do kepp writing! It's a unique thing of urs that u always touch meh heart!♥️_
> 
> _How about a Anorexia! Stephen? I don't know why but.. Help me I'm feeling so angst and wanting this- Hope ur doing sine and *Hugs* *Whispers*I luv u, ur amazing_


End file.
